Seasons Change

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Someone once told me I have my seasons. I can get you into awww one day and the other you could be wondering why do I  exist in your life. For that, I'm nobody's one. No one waits for my stories. No one search for my car on the road. No one waits me to post where I am and come to meet me. No one thinks of me all the time. Sometimes I think it's my fault. As if I'm not interesting enough, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not funny enough, I'm not smart enough. I'm not rich, I haven't reached success yet, and I'm kind of chubby. I got anxious when someone approaches me, I play it cool but deep down I overthink and I start messing things up. I might tell someone in the face that they don't mean to me or I would never date them, but in fact it's the opposite. I act nonchalant about you but you could be my favorite person. I can make you feel that I'm the smartest in catching lies, but I lie to myself every day. If only you can read between the lines. Maybe if only you could read I would be your favorite. 

I can push you away without you even realize that you mean a lot to me. And I think I do it cause I don't want to feel rejected. I'm afraid to feel actually. Well, that's a lie, I feel a lot and I feel everything all at once so deeply, but I mean I'm afraid to feel for someone love or admiration. And so, I remain no body's favorite, while my favorite people fall in love and have fun.

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