Potanda's Mindverse

 Won't you kill me already? You ripped my soul off me with that look. Frustration, anger, sadness, pain and a taste of revenge. I felt the world fell apart, my word, just because you didn't smile.  ; It's your hand I need the most on my heart. And a cigarette. I wanted to tell you how much I adore you still. I wanted to tell you that I still love you, that your name on my screen hurted me badly I had to remove it. 

I want someone to look at me like I'm the one and only, Who wishes always by his side to have me, never lonely. I want someone who sees me as a piece of art, Chaotic and beautiful, stirring rage within his heart. Each time he'd see me, his heart would skip a beat, Joking, he'd tell me I will be his end indeed. Someone to adore me with an elegant grace, To swear to protect me when fear I must face. Someone in whose arms I feel utterly safe, Knowing that there, I alone have my place. But also, someone to hate me, to see my darkest side, Yet choose to stay, in love to abide. Someone who knows my flaws, even when I scare him, Who wouldn't leave, knowing I would always spear him. And when I get angry, and start using my potions and spells, He'd be the dark lord in our castle where love dwells. And as much as I desire someone to love me, I want to adore him so deeply that it pains me. I want someone to look at him as a piece of art, Chaotic and beautiful, stirring rage wi...

Someone once told me I have my seasons. I can get you into awww one day and the other you could be wondering why do I  exist in your life. For that, I'm nobody's one. No one waits for my stories. No one search for my car on the road. No one waits me to post where I am and come to meet me. No one thinks of me all the time. Sometimes I think it's my fault. As if I'm not interesting enough, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not funny enough, I'm not smart enough. I'm not rich, I haven't reached success yet, and I'm kind of chubby. I got anxious when someone approaches me, I play it cool but deep down I overthink and I start messing things up. I might tell someone in the face that they don't mean to me or I would never date them, but in fact it's the opposite. I act nonchalant about you but you could be my favorite person. I can make you feel that I'm the smartest in catching lies, but I lie to myself every day. If only you can read between t...

 I can recognize your hand holding a cigarette if it were a drawing of millions of hands holding different types of cigarettes. I can recognize you fuming out the pain you held for years, the joys you carry in your heart and the excitement that explodes inside you so you hold 2 in your mouth. I can recognize your lips imprisoning this dark cylinder of your half-smoked cigarette.  I wonder if you ever noticed that I didn't dare finish mine in front of you. As if crushing it in the ashtray means that it's over between us. Instead, I would always hand it over to you so you can finish it instead. And just like that, you finished us and you smoked me away behind the ashes. But I remain hidden inside your shirt, wrapping my hands around your neck. Never daring to let go.  Sweep little monster. 

 The Universe has its own way to guide her to the sky and beyond. Sometimes he drives away people no matter how much she loved them. Her heart will beat out of her chest, pleading for mercy. But the Universe knows better, and heard thoughts she could never imagine. Many times she thoughts that she's no better than a bug they decided to crash, but she reminds herself that bugs are special in their own ways. They are magical. And jut like a Ladybug, her lady brain is magical. And just like you do with a ladybug, you pick her up and watch her fly away, the Universe got Potanda ready to fly.  Spreading her wings to fly can be scary. It means sometimes she's letting go of some heavy weights.