I mean....

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 If you happen to see this post, I love you. Please never leave.
If you happen to read this post, it means that you care enough to read what I need to say to no one exactly, but to put out there. 

It's 3:30 am, and what I need to say is the following: Man I feel stupid and taken advantage off. It's not easy approaching new people when actually deep down I'm shattered. The problem is that I don't know what piece of me to gather, so I'm leaving them all at the floor, numbing away sadness. So, I feel happiness, and a false alarm. 

I'm talking to someone new, and it is so hard to even consider him a friend. I mean I think we are friends but in my head he's just an existence and considering him real scares me like hell. I do not want to be hurt again. Even from friends, it's enough. And I'm deeply detached from people around me so why am I welcoming in someone new? Does it really matter? It's so weird to write this hear, knowing that someone might actually read this. And if it's the person I have in mind ( if you're reading this here's a message:) I got hurt from what happened and I couldn't even tell you what I really felt cause I didn't want to fight more. I didn't think it really mattered if you knew what you caused cause you just took distance for days and then talked to me like I was nothing, just after you told me you liked me. You claimed that I was immature dealing with problems, yet how you delt with me was awful. I love you still as a person, but now I cannot tell you honestly what I think and feel, I cannot tell you anymore what's happening in my life, I'm even angry that I was considering you more than just a friend. I'm angry at you but I see no point in telling you this, neither acting with you angrily cause it wouldn't change a thing. You will just run away again, and it means losing you al together. but guess what, I'm already detached:/ 

In fact, I'm detached from everyone who ever hurted me, or might in the future. And I'm anticipating all your moves so that you can never disappoint me. 

I really hope no one reads this, this is embarrassing, and too private but still I'm sharing cause I think it turns out no one really cares that much to notice the link in my bio or even remember that I have a blog.

P.S: fuck israel and I hate kouwet

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