Potanda's Mindverse

 This is just me. With everything I am, everything I would ever be. I'm not a disappointing potential, and I refuse to be a maybe, a "What if". And I was, for many years now. But, drama aside, I don't want it anymore. Within my heart there is love for someone I haven't met yet. And maybe these are romantic delusions from a hopeless romantic soul, but I deserve this type of stories. After all, it's not fair seeing you all moving on with love in your lives. It's not fair to break my heart to mend yours. I hated what you couldn't all be to me. I hated that I was ready to be all for you. But not anymore. For a long time now, I feel free, released. Not dragged down by mean tragedies. But as now I am free, the hollow shell is cracking to reveal its darkness, purging its way to the world. My ageless voice is humming melodies through life, with life and energy, calling you to come home to me. I deserve you, so fast, come home. 

Days passes so fast, but I'm still living there, in one moment. No one knows really, but I'm there, waiting for my resurrection. 

 Once upon a half moon night, she looked out to the streets and wept. 2 years ago, she started her journey to the sky and beyond, but she knew that the journey had begun ever since she matured enough to understand life. Now, she knows that to understand life, she has to understand herself. And God oh God! It's more complicated than she thought it would be! She didn't know that to understand herself she had to unravel every nod that shaped her networks and dig deep into the roots of her being. Going down, she looks up to the materialized world above and it breaks her heart. Detachment, that's what it is. Detach yourself from everything and maybe you will exist as the independent entity you long for. But for what cost? She already lacked the feeling of belonging. It's becoming harder and harder talking to new people. And even harder communicating with old ones. She's pulling away from everyone, and she can't help it. There's a huge hole in her heart that she...

It took her one week of social detox to learn something precious: Nothing Really Mattered. It's not that things are invaluable, but they didn't really matter at the end. Or in the middle. Being alive on Earth is.... something.  She's being ungrateful about everything. But him. She appreciated him long before realizing she had feelings for him. Their talks, jokes, deep thoughts, and planned future still hang in the back of her mind because she appreciated him from the start before he even got into her life. And they always told each other that they would love each other no matter how they were, where they were, and under any label, they titled their relationship with. And now, as he's labeled a stranger to her, she still loves and appreciates him knowing that this mind she will never find again.  Damn, this attitude of hers. Her pride. But, it doesn't matter. Because they come and go, she told herself. Because, as they come she would welcome them, appreciate them, en...